I did something the other day that was quite empowering. I haven't told anyone about it yet, but if something comes of it everyone will know soon enough.
I agonized for days over whether I should do it or not and finally came to the decision (after much prayer) that it was one of those things that I needed to do just because I could. To prove to myself and to Heavenly Father that I could move forward with faith even if I felt like I didn't have a clear answer.
After the rough few days I had last week, I'm happy that I was able to trust myself enough to do that.
02 September 2013
26 August 2013
brain dump
{to the one person who actually reads this... it might not be worth reading :) }
I get very introspective when I have a lot on my mind. I don't know if this is a new development or something that's happened since Mom passed away or if I've always been this way. Sometimes it seems like I barely remember what I was like before she died. I can't even fathom the person I was in college. And the person that existed two years ago seems like a very distant memory. My hopes and goals haven't changed much, but I have. SO much.
The last several weeks I've been coming to terms with being an introvert. Does that sound weird? I'm finally realizing that it's OK for me to be an introvert. For the longest time I've thought that I had to be outgoing or loud or a social butterfly to be normal or worth something. But Heavenly Father made me this way. I still have to grow and stretch and learn just like anyone else, but I can be who I am at the same time. Introvert doesn't mean antisocial or unfriendly or not fun. I prefer small groups over big crowds; that's OK. I like reading and watching movies; that's OK too.
Driving to work this morning I kept thinking about how I felt like I didn't have the strength to be here anymore. Like my spirit is just worn out. This is so different from not wanting to be here (there have been times I've struggled with that too). Yesterday was a hard day. I started sobbing in Relief Society. Not a good thing when I have to sit in the front facing everyone now. I had to leave in the middle of the lesson because I couldn't get it under control. But someone told me something that was SO insightful. Perhaps the reason I struggle with my emotions on Sundays (more so than other days) is because the Spirit is stronger and I'm not as distracted. I cannot tell you how validated that made me feel.
I've had a lot on my mind lately. As I've realized that I've accomplished several important, vital goals the last several months, I've also realized that I need to set some more and I still have a lot to do. I'm not sure what direction to go and praying has been so hard lately... contrasted with feeling the Spirit so strongly at times.
Have you ever had a "vision" of what you wanted your life to be like... and it felt like it was just around the corner, but you didn't know how to read the map? Yeah... that's where I am. Sometimes it's exciting, sometimes it's terrifying.
I get very introspective when I have a lot on my mind. I don't know if this is a new development or something that's happened since Mom passed away or if I've always been this way. Sometimes it seems like I barely remember what I was like before she died. I can't even fathom the person I was in college. And the person that existed two years ago seems like a very distant memory. My hopes and goals haven't changed much, but I have. SO much.
The last several weeks I've been coming to terms with being an introvert. Does that sound weird? I'm finally realizing that it's OK for me to be an introvert. For the longest time I've thought that I had to be outgoing or loud or a social butterfly to be normal or worth something. But Heavenly Father made me this way. I still have to grow and stretch and learn just like anyone else, but I can be who I am at the same time. Introvert doesn't mean antisocial or unfriendly or not fun. I prefer small groups over big crowds; that's OK. I like reading and watching movies; that's OK too.
Driving to work this morning I kept thinking about how I felt like I didn't have the strength to be here anymore. Like my spirit is just worn out. This is so different from not wanting to be here (there have been times I've struggled with that too). Yesterday was a hard day. I started sobbing in Relief Society. Not a good thing when I have to sit in the front facing everyone now. I had to leave in the middle of the lesson because I couldn't get it under control. But someone told me something that was SO insightful. Perhaps the reason I struggle with my emotions on Sundays (more so than other days) is because the Spirit is stronger and I'm not as distracted. I cannot tell you how validated that made me feel.
I've had a lot on my mind lately. As I've realized that I've accomplished several important, vital goals the last several months, I've also realized that I need to set some more and I still have a lot to do. I'm not sure what direction to go and praying has been so hard lately... contrasted with feeling the Spirit so strongly at times.
Have you ever had a "vision" of what you wanted your life to be like... and it felt like it was just around the corner, but you didn't know how to read the map? Yeah... that's where I am. Sometimes it's exciting, sometimes it's terrifying.
18 August 2013
I think I have a problem...
I was going through my boards on Pinterest (I know, a very productive Sunday morning activity) and noticed something...
I've pinned three versions of essentially the same outfit in the last two weeks. Hmmm. Maybe this should be the inspiration for my next shopping spree? I obviously love it.
I've pinned three versions of essentially the same outfit in the last two weeks. Hmmm. Maybe this should be the inspiration for my next shopping spree? I obviously love it.
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