I should either be in bed or editing my paper

BUT, alas I am not doing either of those things. Sundays are very reflective days for me. Not always in a positive way, but I think in a necessary way. Move #39 has been difficult. While the apartment and roommate situation is more than I could have hoped for at this stage in my life, it has also been an emotional adjustment. On top of that add working full time, trying to finish study abroad homework and now do my regular semester homework and I've been feeling stretched a little thin. Sundays are also the days where I miss the mama the most and today I got a sad, small reminder of just how much. However, as I overheard someone say tonight, "how can we be sad for them?" I can't be sad for her. I just can't. But sometimes I feel just a little sad for me. Sometimes it's a pity party and sometimes, it's just a longing for what was and what could have been and what I see people around me still have.

Study abroad homework = 99% done (and it's due tomorrow).

Only 13 weeks left of grad school (when I say it like that it doesn't feel so LONG!).

More blessings than I can count.

And a healing heart (I hope!).

thirteen

I just saw this iPad commercial {cheesy alert} about a deaf woman who travels the world and it seriously made me tear up! In 13 days I'll be on a plane bound for London. I'll admit there has been some apprehension mixed with the excitement and some/most of it stems from being "disabled" or "handicapped" or "different" - however you want to label it - but as I watched that commercial, I just had this feeling that it is absolutely the most right thing for me to do right now (well, in 13 days). It's not just about seeing London or crossing something off my bucket list, it's more about being brave and not hiding anymore.

The mama has been on my mind a lot since starting my new job. Every time a "milestone" happens I find myself a little sad because it's so bittersweet - all these incredible things happen or will happen or might happen - and she won't be here to celebrate with me in a tangible way. Even going on this trip is one of those - I'd love it if she were here to help me prepare and do last minute things and take me to the airport, but she's not. And that's really OK because I know she's where she needs to be.

{found here via Pinterest}

how I feel about my new job

{found here}

My initial reaction was overwhelming joy and disbelief. I still can't believe it, which is kind of a problem. Now that it's had a few days to settle in, I still feel the happiness and joy, but I'm also confronting the fact that I never really believed I would get it. I worried about telling people (family too) that I'd applied for it because I didn't want to tell them afterwards that I didn't get it. I thought there was no way that my manager would go for it with me leaving for a month. I considered applying "in secret" - not telling anyone beforehand.

This is something I've been working on in counseling - self talk and overcoming "anticipatory" anxiety. I've never struggled with gospel standards or testimony or other related issues, but the adversary really gets me in the anxiety department. Close family and friends told me when they found out I'd gotten the job that they "weren't surprised" or they "knew I would." I wish I knew how to have the same type of faith in myself.

I am so grateful for a merciful Heavenly Father who understands my weaknesses and helps me overcome them. Despite my anxieties, he helped me apply for this job and succeed in the interview (regardless of how it could have turned out, I would have been happy with that interview) and he obviously knows I can do it, right?!

When I think of all the possibilities this opens up - career, financial, personal - I'm so excited!

London calling, Step 8.5

It's official. My summer aid arrived this morning. The fees are paid. {happy dance}

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

AND, I just got a notice that they will be ticketing (i.e. buying the plane ticket) on Monday. I can't stand it.

{Heathrow airport via}

So, step 8.5 involves--

passport actually arriving

earning spending money (did I mention I got a paid digital internship this morning too?!)

figuring out what to pack

and waiting patiently... only 49 more days!

London calling...

Remember this post? Well...

step 1: request time off and have it granted

step 2: start the application process

step 3: get paperwork signed from home institution allowing me to study elsewhere

step 4: finish application

step 5: pay deposit (ahh!)

step 6: renew passport after acceptance

step 7: apply for summer aid

step 8: get summer aid

step 9: GO!

(obviously saving $$$ is an ongoing step...)

All of this hopefully leads to a 4-week LIS study abroad program in the U.K. this summer! Steps 1 and 2 are done and hopefully step 3 will be started tomorrow. London has been on the top of my bucket list for YEARS. This would be a dream come true. The program cost is only a few hundred more than my standard tuition in my LIS program for the same amount of credits AND 4 weeks in England (3 in London itself). Also includes: Edinburgh, Bath, Stonehenge, Stratford-upon-Avon, Oxford plus 4 days wherever I want in Europe.

{Wheal Coates / Cornwall, via} | {Stonehenge, via} | {Warwick Castle, via}

{Bath, via} | {Edinburgh Castle, via}

all images found on Pinterest

books and memories

When I was in middle school and high school I used to sleep with all my books -- not on purpose, it just sorta happened. They'd get piled on, around and underneath my bed as I read them. Each night the mama would come into my room to say good night and "clear a path" because she was afraid I'd kill myself on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. We'd argue -- me saying that I knew exactly where they all were and wouldn't fall, she moving them anyway.

As I was getting ready for bed tonight I looked at the bed and saw this relatively small pile and just remembered.

a cookbook dedicated solely to peanut butter; a cookbook of old-school comfort food; a book that inspired a hallmark movie; a suspense novel; a historical romance; my reference textbook (which I actually enjoy)

It's a good thing the library doesn't charge for library books (at least if you bring them back on time, that is), otherwise I'd be broke. Books are my weakness for sure. It's completely at odds with my frugality. I could probably keep the library in business single-handedly. OK, not really, but I have WAY more checkouts than my co-workers.

Yes, I still sleep surrounded by books, although I do move the computer -- it holds the blankets hostage, after all.

future librarian retail therapy

Every time I see this necklace I think I should order it for myself... look how awesome it is! (398.2 is the call # for fairytales!).

{from here}

And someday (maybe when I upgrade my phone???) I will be purchasing this awesomeness as well :)

{from here}

learned today

Today was the first day of my second semester in the MLIS program. I freely admit that I've been more than a little overwhelmed today, but I really do think I'll enjoy my classes. I'm taking Cataloging & Classification and Principles of Searching this semester. Cataloging is the class I've been looking forward to the most in the program - we'll see if I still feel that way as the semester progresses!

New word for the day: verso. The page right after the title page that has all the publication info on it and the basis for all cataloging records.

{Gutenberg's printing press, via}

Also, did you know that scholars in the 1600s were afraid that the printing press (and the subsequent proliferation of books) would lead to over-information? If they'd only known about the internet :)

written down . . .

{a small part of our group project . . . it makes me smile}

Maybe it's because I studied history in college or maybe I chose history because of it, but either way, I love reading the words that others have written. I've been working on a group project studying the information behaviors of scholars in the humanities and social sciences (how they use information sources, how things have changed with the digital age, what libraries/archives can do to help this group, etc.) and I realized that I fit the historian mold perfectly. I love technology and I use it every day, but nothing will ever beat a "real" book in my mind. Or the handwritten journal entry.

For the last 13 months I've been keeping a journal regularly. Sometimes it's been the only thing that has kept me sane. As I've been going through mama's stuff lately I've come across two journals and a lot of handwritten notes, cards, etc. and I keep thinking that if she hadn't written those things down, I wouldn't have them now. So, keep a journal. Write stuff down. Even if you don't write much, write something. Your kids or whoever gets left behind when you die will care. And they will love seeing your familiar handwriting and crazy scribbles, I promise.

I think the written word is powerful in a way that nothing else is (that is very historian-ish of me . . . ). Think about it. Heavenly Father made sure the scriptures were written down even though it was a daunting task back then to write anything. The conference talks are reprinted in the Ensign to be read and reread. Even professors making students write papers to show their grasp of concepts and express their thoughts on a subject. Writing makes you think. I love it.

And maybe, if we get a good grade on our project, I'll share it with you . . . I think it's pretty neat (and kind of funny too).

creating at midnight

It's way past my bedtime, especially if I want to get up at the usual time, but as often happens with my homework, I lose track of time. I was ready to go to bed at 9PM and suddenly it's 1:29AM. I guess I got distracted . . .

I think I've created a logo for my final project. Once I understood how to use it, I discovered that Pixlr is awesome. Pixlr is the open source program that my professor has us use to edit our images for our assignments, but until tonight I hadn't used it to create an image. Oh. my. goodness. Fun stuff.

Speaking of open source, I'm pretty happy with this . . .

I think it's my favorite one so far. {no, it's not supposed to be centered . . . and it really bothers me that it's not.}

Logo to be revealed soon :)

good things {a reminder}

- aunties

- 41 days

- good grades in graduate school

- living with a person who is magic and helps me beat an ear infection without a doctor's visit

- finding an allergy medicine that {sort of} conquers horrible TX allergies

- a sweet angel that lays by me when I'm sad

- peace & quiet, even if that means turning up the stereo because I'm home alone :)

- a final project I'm excited about

- a final paper that will help me heal {long story there}

- memories

- answered prayers

- spaghetti squash {most amazing veggie ever}

info on final project

Thanks to all who responded to my Facebook post. I thought this might be an easier way to give more specifics on what's expected for my final project in my InfoTech class and see if anyone wants to help me out. My hand-drawn prototype and proposal are due November 14; the final project is due December 20. The professor wants us to have around 2 weeks to work on the proposals, so that means I need have a person lined up by the end of October.

I have to design or redesign a website for a non-profit organization, a small business or an individual. I have to apply the things I've learned during the course - XHTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, etc - into the design of the website. I'll be using WordPress as a CMS (content management system) for the website and customizing a WordPress theme, which means that it will be easy to update when it's done, like a blog is. For the assignment to be graded it will be hosted on the university's server. After it's graded it can be transferred to a server under your own URL or it can be hosted on WordPress. 

If you decide that you're willing to be my guinea pig, you aren't under any obligation to use the site after it's done. Hopefully you'll love it and want to use it, but if not that's perfectly OK. I'm obviously not a professional, I just need a person and an idea to build a site for. As to what I'd need from someone, this is what I know is needed so far:

- what the site's for / why you want or need one

- the different pages you want (at least three, examples: an about page, a contact form, a photo gallery, services offered, etc.)

- any images you want on the site, including a logo (or I can design one) - these can be emailed to me or you can give me a memory card w/ images or a link to Flickr, Photobucket, etc. The logo has to be in my proposal, the images and logo need to be in the final site.

- color scheme

After my proposal is approved, I'll need feedback from you on the content for specific pages, i.e. a bio for the about page, etc. I will be in Utah beginning December 6, so if you want to work on it in person, we can do that, but we don't have to. Whatever works best for you.

For my proposal I have to create a PowerPoint presentation explaining what the site is for and how I want to lay it out. I also have to show my hand drawn prototype which will all be critiqued by my professor and classmates, but ultimately what the "customer" wants goes - as far as my skill set will allow. :)

Thanks!

a tale of two webpages

For my first assignment in my InfoTech a.k.a. Information Technologies for Libraries and Information Agencies class (see why they shorten it???), I had to build a series of webpages using tables on any topic I wanted. I also had to pick a creative commons image related to my topic and build the pages around it.

The final result met all of the requirements perfectly, but I can see why they don't use tables very often anymore - it's ugly - but, you have to start somewhere I guess. For the second assignment I had to use the same topic and images, but format the whole thing using CSS . . .

. . . much prettier in my opinion, but still lacking. I can see why CSS is so popular. This one only required simple CSS, but what a difference.

I really like this class. My other class is fun too, but I like not knowing exactly how something works and then getting it to work. I'm excited for the next one which will be on a completely different topic (advantages of open-source software anyone?) and then the final project - a whole website! And no specific requirements to meet (other than applying what I've learned and making the "customer" happy . . . oh, and everything has to load correctly).

I hope they just keep getting prettier.

good things {seven moments in seven days}

-surviving 7 whole days as a grad student & realizing that my brain still works

- starting temple prep

- an older brother patiently teaching me how to tie double windsor until understanding (sort of) dawns

- pesto chicken and peach cobbler

- an auntie suggesting milk for the wood stain splashed all over my legs . . . and it succeeded where both body scrub and washcloth failed

- tears instead of imploding upon the realization that 9 months have passed

- good deals on necessary purchases

I see London {maybe, perhaps, I hope}

{the British Library, via}

Getting ready for grad school has been a little stressful. Most times I can't really believe I'm doing it . . . it still seems like something that's a dream for the future, but in a few short weeks I'll officially be a grad student. Wow.


When I was at BYU-I, I spent a lot of time planning for future semesters - looking at the requirements and figuring out how to meet them and take the classes I wanted when I wanted. For the most part it worked out really well. I was always able to get into the classes I wanted and they were mostly as great as I'd thought they'd be (there was that one exception involving a burning textbook in a Weber grill at the end of the semester, but we won't get into that right now). I have to admit, one of the funnest (yes, I said funnest and it didn't even correct me) parts of this new adventure of mine has been picking out my classes and making a plan. I didn't have to do much for the first semester - everyone takes the same classes the first semester - but considering different plans of study (what type of librarian I want to be) has been really interesting.

In all this planning, I've been doing a lot of research about different career paths, scholarships, etc. I've also come across some blogs about library school and what paths others are choosing and why that I really like. It was one such blog that inspired this post . . . and the fact that sometimes I just need to get everything in my head out once in awhile.

I've had three big dreams in my life:
1. go to graduate school
2. ride on a train (which, despite my careful planning, still hasn't happened)
3. travel, specifically to London

Now, about this blog that inspired this post . . . the newest post was about study abroad programs for graduate students, specifically LIS {library and information science/studies} students. And two of the programs are in London. Both programs are summer sessions - one for two weeks, one for a month offering three and six credits respectively. My first thought was "there is absolutely no way I'd be able to afford it . . .", but of course, I had to research it. And, guess what? If I can afford a summer semester of grad school, I can afford the study abroad program - actually, the study abroad program works out to a better deal than just taking regular classes over the summer and it's in LONDON. I wanna do it!

Of course, I can't just sign up. I have to see how the first year of graduate school goes, talk with an adviser, figure out finances, pray (of course), find a job, and then MAYBE it could be a reality. But, the possibility of birthday #29 in London just sets my heart all aflutter.

Finished and ready to begin

Tonight was the orientation meeting for my grad program. When I first heard that it was going to be done entirely online instead of on-campus, I was a little disappointed because I wanted an excuse to travel and be on campus. However, the frugal side of me (which we all know is deeply ingrained in my psyche), so appreciated the saving of several hundred dollars.

I've never done a meeting online before. It was kind of neat. Sort of like Skype/Facetime, but with 30+ people and the ability to type questions while the presenter was talking. And the ability to carry it with me as I cooked dinner was awesome, I must say.

13 more days.

Oh, and I made some potatoes for dinner tonight that were YUM, if I do say so myself.

Excerpts from the one that didn't. . .

My wonderful Auntie is taking classes this summer. I was helping her with a paper over the phone and I loved her opening paragraph (Auntie - if you read this, YES, you are a wonderful writer!). I was inspired. SO...

My application essay for grad school was a nerve-wracking experience. Writing usually comes pretty easy for me, but I haven't done any serious writing for a long time and I was kind of afraid that all of my skills had deserted me. So, I agonized over it and for the first time in my life I wrote a rough draft. And I kept editing it until it didn't make me cringe... it must have been OK in the end, right? :)

Anyways, my opening (and favorite) paragraphs ended up on the cutting room floor, so to speak. When I decided to rework the essay I was actually a little nervous about taking it out because I liked it so much, but when you only have 750 words... grrr.

And since I won't ever share the finished product that did, in fact, get me into grad school, here's an excerpt from the one that didn't (or couldn't? since I didn't give it a chance? Oh, whatever...):

{happy} Moments

The moment when you see this...

...and realize that your dreams are starting to come true.

For a long time (especially the last 6 years...) I've struggled with my value as a human being. As time went by I became a little less sure of my ability to succeed. And then a little less. And then a little less. I started thinking people obviously didn't know the truth when they complimented me or commented on my intellect. It got to the point where I didn't even recognize the me who had {rather successfully} graduated from college and I felt... afraid.

But I still dreamed... big.

Now, I'm still afraid. But I took a risk and it paid off. And the one thing I knew about myself is still true. Obviously, I was the one who was wrong. I've never been so happy to be so wrong in my life!

So, it's a happy and very hopeful moment for me right now...
{with a TON to figure out...}