I really miss you tonight. I miss you always, but tonight is one of those really tough nights where everything's too hard and I just want you to come back. I hate it. It started with an ovarian cancer awareness commercial on TV last night. And those "happy birthday" commercials the American Cancer Society does always really get me.
In 5 days it will be the one year "anniversary" of the first day it all changed. Sometimes I really curse my great memory. Is it really necessary for me to remember crap like that? Pretty soon it will be a year since you've been gone . . . and I really can't imagine it. Sometimes I forget you're gone and think I need to call you because I haven't heard your voice in awhile.
I promise I don't always cry. Today was actually a good day. Watched the new Tyler Perry movie - "Good Deeds" - and of course, thought of you. :) Tried to make cookie bowls - didn't exactly go as planned, but still turned out well.
Are you proud of me? Do you know what's going on my life? I always imagine you with long hair now. Is it long?
The aunties (and the whole fam) did a great job making me feel special on my birthday. You should be proud of them. I was really nervous it would be a terrible day because you wouldn't be there, but I shouldn't have worried at all. I could tell you were there in a bunch of little things that happened. I'm so glad!
Love you muchly . . .
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