I'm a little afraid

Tomorrow's the big day... Moving day. I was just downstairs making sure I had all 15 boxes ready and looking over my box inventory (yes, when I packed the initial 12 boxes in Texas I made a list of what was in each box and numbered the boxes) to see which boxes needed to be unpacked right away. 

I'm afraid of 2 things: change and memories. Those boxes have been packed for 21 months. And although I've unpacked them and repacked them in Texas, those boxes hold what's left of my tangible reminders of mom. The Effiel Tower sheets she surprised me with for my birthday that I will put on my bed tomorrow. My cookbook collection that she'd add to every christmas or birthday. Stupid little things that just remind me. 

On one hand I know these will be comforting, but on the other I just don't want to face it. Does it make sense that I can't wait to see my life again, but I'm afraid of it too? And I miss her like crazy. 

Home sweet apartment

The time has finally come for me to move into my own apartment. While the apartment hunting game wasn't without stress, I'm really pleased with how it turned out and realize (once again) that Heavenly Father is completely in control. I have been so blessed in the almost three years that mom has been gone and a sweet and inspired email from one of my favorite missionaries this week just reconfirmed that. 

BUT decorating my (master!) bedroom in said apartment is harder. I cannot find a bed frame I love enough to actually want to spend money on. There is a bed frame from Urban Outfitters that I LOVE, but it's a staggering $650 and I really can't figure out why, because as much as I love it, it's a relatively simple design. When I sent a picture of it to my dad he said he could DIY it pretty easily... but he has no plans to come out here anytime soon. So for now, I'm planning on the "mattress on the floor" route until I find something WAY more affordable that I like just as much. ;)

(All images are from UO.)

I'm also trying to decide on a dresser. It's either the Hemnes from IKEA or the Malm (also from IKEA) with the hopes of doing something like this soon. 

Decor woes aside, I'm super excited for Barney (my beloved purple kitchenaid) to come out of storage after a year and a half and relieved that I'm finally in a position where I CAN move out. I'm so blessed. 

Life

Holstee Manifesto, found here.

I've been in love with this poster for a long time. I first found it right before the mama passed away and we both loved it so much it ended up on the back of her funeral program. I read it now, and for the first time in my life I feel like I'm finally getting there. I have a job I love. I fulfilled a travel dream. I'm learning to be myself.

Perhaps I should buy it for my new apartment.