{found here}
My initial reaction was overwhelming joy and disbelief. I still can't believe it, which is kind of a problem. Now that it's had a few days to settle in, I still feel the happiness and joy, but I'm also confronting the fact that I never really believed I would get it. I worried about telling people (family too) that I'd applied for it because I didn't want to tell them afterwards that I didn't get it. I thought there was no way that my manager would go for it with me leaving for a month. I considered applying "in secret" - not telling anyone beforehand.
This is something I've been working on in counseling - self talk and overcoming "anticipatory" anxiety. I've never struggled with gospel standards or testimony or other related issues, but the adversary really gets me in the anxiety department. Close family and friends told me when they found out I'd gotten the job that they "weren't surprised" or they "knew I would." I wish I knew how to have the same type of faith in myself.
I am so grateful for a merciful Heavenly Father who understands my weaknesses and helps me overcome them. Despite my anxieties, he helped me apply for this job and succeed in the interview (regardless of how it could have turned out, I would have been happy with that interview) and he obviously knows I can do it, right?!
When I think of all the possibilities this opens up - career, financial, personal - I'm so excited!
