05 September 2015

home sweet home & "cowboys in overalls..."

- the garage. It's still weird I have one, but I LOVE it. The first night I came home late from work and saw how full the parking lot was, I started to panic... and then I remembered I didn't have to worry about it. It was awesome.

- the kitchen. For being a rental, it's pretty close to my dream kitchen. White cabinets. Deep sink. Walk-in pantry. Quiet appliances. Did I mention that the appliances are quiet? In the old place, every time the dishwasher or washer or a/c was on it sounded like a jet engine. Now I have to stand next to the washer and dishwasher to make sure they're running.

- the setup. It feels so much more like a home. I've missed that.

- the light. I love natural light. And even though we live in an inside unit, there are so many windows and I love it.

- the balcony. One of these days before it snows I'm buying a chair so I can sit out there.

- the proximity. It's pretty much in the same area I lived before, which I love because it means everything's familiar and I'm still close to family.

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It's been a tough week, but every time I have a tough week I'm amazed at how blessed I still feel. I miss the parents so much and there are SO SO many questions I wish I could ask them. And yet, it comforts me that they are together. It's been long enough that the desire to talk to mama has faded a bit (although given the opportunity...). But daddy has only been gone 6+ months and I still find myself reaching for the phone for our daily call. I'd love to hear him say "Hey Lex!" again. He always acted so happy when I called. And I don't think there was phone call where he didn't make me laugh hysterically.

I remind myself constantly that they are in a better position to help me now than they ever were. And I need that. SO MUCH. However, it's still tough to navigate life without them. And there are a lot of times when it doesn't feel fair, even though I know life isn't supposed to be fair -- as dad would say, "fair is a place where cowboys in overalls throw cow chips for distance" -- honestly, I really don't know what that's supposed to mean except "fair" doesn't exist.