I started reading Dee's blog regularly after coming across her sweatshirt restyle on Pinterest. She posted this gem today and I just had to share . . . I watched it 4 times in a row (yup, I did).
30 August 2012
29 August 2012
28 August 2012
#6.
1. DENIAL :
This happened while she was in the hospital and just after she went into hospice because she seemed so much better for awhile. It was more that I couldn't reconcile it in my mind, not that I was in denial.
2. ANGER :
Not in the traditional sense. I'm not angry at her for dying or at Heavenly Father for taking her. I have been angry at times that I'm still here, angry at some things I was left with, angry at others, angry at my own stupidity.
3. BARGAINING :
Nope, not applicable. Mama got the better end of the deal. The only way I'd want her back is if she was healthy and whole.
4. DEPRESSION :
Definitely happened.
5. ACCEPTANCE :
Oh, this has been part of it since stage #1. It happened. It sucks for me, it's awesome for her.
All neat and tidy . . . oh, you mean it's not really one-size-fits-all? Somebody better tell that to Kubler-Ross.
{If you've been brave enough to read this far . . . }
Contrary to what you might think after reading through the five stages of grief, this is NOT a pity party. I was originally going to write a "good things" post (and I still might . . . ). Instead, this is about wanting to advocate for a #6 : BEWILDERED. Bewilderment. Befuddled. Gabberflasted.
Cuz that's where I am. I woke up three days ago a teary mess and it hasn't stopped yet. I miss her everyday, that's a given, but is the gut-wrenching, hiccup-inducing, try-not-to-hyperventilate, scaring-the-dog, can't-control-the-need-to-cry sobbing really necessary?
This happened while she was in the hospital and just after she went into hospice because she seemed so much better for awhile. It was more that I couldn't reconcile it in my mind, not that I was in denial.
2. ANGER :
Not in the traditional sense. I'm not angry at her for dying or at Heavenly Father for taking her. I have been angry at times that I'm still here, angry at some things I was left with, angry at others, angry at my own stupidity.
3. BARGAINING :
Nope, not applicable. Mama got the better end of the deal. The only way I'd want her back is if she was healthy and whole.
4. DEPRESSION :
Definitely happened.
5. ACCEPTANCE :
Oh, this has been part of it since stage #1. It happened. It sucks for me, it's awesome for her.
All neat and tidy . . . oh, you mean it's not really one-size-fits-all? Somebody better tell that to Kubler-Ross.
{If you've been brave enough to read this far . . . }
Contrary to what you might think after reading through the five stages of grief, this is NOT a pity party. I was originally going to write a "good things" post (and I still might . . . ). Instead, this is about wanting to advocate for a #6 : BEWILDERED. Bewilderment. Befuddled. Gabberflasted.
Cuz that's where I am. I woke up three days ago a teary mess and it hasn't stopped yet. I miss her everyday, that's a given, but is the gut-wrenching, hiccup-inducing, try-not-to-hyperventilate, scaring-the-dog, can't-control-the-need-to-cry sobbing really necessary?
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